Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
