i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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