I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
