This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
