Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
