last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have fence marks all over my body
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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