hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize