Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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