But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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