There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
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Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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