So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize