I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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