i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
