i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
