What did we do last night that was yellow?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
