thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
