I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize