my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
