I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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