It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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