i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
