I wanna bring you to show and tell
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we're making bets on your personal life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
