Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
3pm strippers are depressing
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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