Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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