she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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