So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
