I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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