the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
