they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
