im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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