Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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