Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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