Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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