My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He passed out mid-signature
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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