you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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