All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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