their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
