she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
