dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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