i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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