the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
