My first STD was from a foam party
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
