singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
