his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
