hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
