At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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