that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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