better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize