You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
