Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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