in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
