my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
