using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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