he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
