3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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