he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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