Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Who did Billy Mays play for?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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