Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
