I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
