where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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