I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
