She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
