what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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