I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
