she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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